Reality Apologizes for the Delay

We may not all remember where we were when we heard about O.J. Simpson’s most recent arrest (after all, O.J. Simpson getting arrested has become fairly commonplace) but I’m sure we all remember having vaguely similar reactions to the news: “Stop breaking the law!”

Well, in an unbelievably over-due event, he’s finally been convicted of something jailworthy, prompting a spate of headlines that look like they are from a better, alternate 1996.  I floated this “Alternate 1996” idea by my buddy Jon, and got the following in return:

Doc:“Obvioulsy, the time continuum has been disrupted, creating this new temporal event sequence, resulting in this alternate reality.”

Marty: “English, Doc.”

Doc:“Imagine that this line represents time. Here’s the present, 1996, the future and the past. Prior to this point in time, somewhere in the past, the timeline skewed into this tangent getting OJ off his murder charge scott-free, creating an alternate 1996. Alternate to you, me and Einstein, but reality for everyone else.  While we were in the future, OJ got the newspaper headline and a smaller black glove, stole the time machine, went back in time and gave the items to himself at some point in the past.”

Marty: “The son of a bitch stole my idea! So, we go back to the future and we stop OJ from stealing the time machine.”

Doc: “We can’t because if we travel into the future from this point in time, it will be the future of this reality. We must go back to 1996 and prove OJ guilty… or just wait for the SOB to screw up again, which he will in 2008, and then we’ll see some justice.”

Marty:“Alright then screw it… let’s pickup some iPods again and go scare the crap outta some more 12th century peasants – that’s hella fun!”

Share this...

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on pinterest
Share on reddit

The small grey box shown above is a “Template” widget. You will need to customize one of our “LP-POST-CTA” templates and choose that template from the drop-down menu in the sidebar (click the grey box to see the drop-down menu). You can delete this text widget when you’re done.